>Hawaii Hurricanes

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The ABA keeps on chugging away adding teams all willy-nilly and hoping that at least a handful of them make it beyond the first week of the season. The latest sucker to join the party is Honolulu’s Andrew Moss, the new owner of the ABA’s most far-flung and travel budget busting basketball team. Yeah, good luck with that. I wonder how many teams will actually make the trip out to Honolulu when most of them struggle to get to their game at the middle school gymnasium down the street.

Hawaii has hosted ABA basketball once before. The Hawaii Mega Force lasted all of two games during the 2005 seasons. The players were never paid and the owner, Orrys Williams, was banned from the league by Joe Newman himself (although I’m sure he would be reinstated and championed by Joe if he would just cough up some cash).

The Mega Force left doom and gloom and destruction on the face of paradise’s professional basketball scene, so in an attempt to distance themselves from that destruction and to put a happy face on the return of basketball, Moss decided to go with a positive team name that would brighten everybody’s day. A team name that suggests good times ahead and great things to come. A team name that…Oh who am I kidding, they called the damn team the f-ing Hawaii Hurricanes. You know, a big, destructive, killer storm that rips through an island leaving nothing but a mess behind it. Or, as I like to call it, the perfect metaphor.

And to top it off, they designed a logo showing a big ABA basketball ready to brutalize the islands. I mean seriously, if this team tanks and leaves a slew of unpaid bills, ripped off ticket holders and conned investors in it’s wake like it is destined to do, when his day in court comes, all Moss will have to do is point to the logo and say “we warned you!” Personally, I think all ABA teams should change their name to Hurricanes. It just works so well.

You know why I know the Hawaii Hurricanes won’t survive? Because according to their logo, they will be playing with a ball that has all sorts of hard angles and points. Dribbling that ball is going to be one hell of an adventure. Nobody is going to pay to see that.

Team: Hawaii Hurricanes
League: American Basketball Association
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Arena: Neal Blaisdell Center

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